After All, It was Just a Flower
by imsorrymissamerica
Summary: Brittany and Santana discover a post on Quinn's personal blog that worries them. Although Quinn says that it is not a suicide note, they can't help but be worried and they leap into action. May possibly be triggering. The note is written in Italics and as the story goes on so are Quinn's thoughts. Broken up into several chapters. Faberry/ Britana/ Klaine
1. Breakfast and Blogs

**Brittany and Santana discover a post on Quinn's personal blog that worries them. Although Quinn says that it is not a suicide note, they can't help but be worried and they leap into action. May possibly be triggering. The note is written in****_ Italics _****and as the story goes on so are Quinn's thoughts. I thought this would be an interesting point of view. I was originally going to only make it one chapter, but it ended up being much longer than planned. So I broke it up as best I could. Please keep in mind that it is one continuous story. I hope that you enjoy!**

*****As much as I wish that I owned the characters, sadly I do not. [insert other appropriate disclaimer stuff here.]*****

**After All, It was Just a Flower**

**{Chapter 1}**

_May 18 6:42 AM New York_

_To my readers,_

_I know that this a rather long entry and I do not expect that many of you will read it. It's different from my other entries, in that it is an extremely personal post. It's not written in my normal formatting or anything like that, and I am sure that my editor would have a conniption if he saw this in its unedited state. Think of it as a stream of conscious, because you are about to get an inside look at my thoughts._

"Hey B, can you go see if Q is up? Normally she's already up and has gone on our coffee run."

"Yeah no problem San." Brittany bounded off the couch and down the hallway to Quinn's room. She knocked on the door, and pushed it open after no response. Silently, Brittany crossed to Quinn's bed, to wake the blonde only to discover an empty bed.

"San, she's not in here." Brittany yelled.

"Hmm, that's weird. She must've just gotten held up or had to run some errands." Wrapping her arms around Brittany's waist, she whispered into her ear, "You know B, this is the only room left in the apartment that we haven't christened yet."

"But I thought rooms couldn't believe in God?" Brittany stated.

San chuckled and drew Brittany closer to her, "No they can't. I just thought that it would be hot if we got our sweet lady kisses on in here."

A look of realization crossed the tall blonde's face and she ducked down to give Santana a kiss. "I don't think Quinn would appreciate if we did that and she wasn't here." Brittany said, pulling back.

_Sometimes I wake up and think that I don't hate myself, but it never lasts for very long. I grew up in a Christian family. I was taught that God was loving and forgiving, although you must bid to his word. My heavenly Father may be loving and forgiving, but my earthly father sure as hell isn't. He _**_never _**_was and he _**_never_**_ will be. I was taught to treat others with dignity and respect, at least in public. Behind closed doors though- I was taught to deal with things the Fabray way. I was taught to do what it takes to get what you want. That if you didn't speak about it, then the problem didn't exist. This worked fine until I found myself shut behind more than one closed door._

"Alright, fine." Santana pouted before continuing, "How about I go make us some breakfast then. Pancakes?"

Brittany's face lit up and she nodded in agreement. Santana started to head back to the kitchen when Brittany spoke up, "Why do you think Q brought so much work back with her? I thought she hated bringing work home." Santana turned towards Quinn's desk and noticed the unusual mess left on it.

"I don't know. I mean she is a reporter so maybe she had some deadlines coming up." Santana's gaze fell upon the diploma from Yale hanging proudly on the wall above the desk. In the corner of the frame, Quinn had stuck a picture of her and Beth, after she had just been born. They left the room, and Brittany shut the door behind them.

_ I got pregnant the first time I ever had sex. Who am I kidding though. I didn't want to have sex. I kinda wanted Puck- at least I wanted to want Puck. I was using Finn. Why? Because the person that I loved, and still do love- I was taught and told that I shouldn't love. That I would be damned if I loved her._

_For years I tormented and brought down the person that I love. I was so lost and confused and desperate. I was broken and didn't see how I could be fixed. In the back of my mind I knew that she could help piece me back together. I remember the first time I heard her sing. It was in freshmen year, and I was running past the auditorium to get to Cheerios practice. I had never heard a voice so beautiful, so confident before. I was late to practice that day. Coach Sylvester made me run wind sprints until my legs gave out. So I pushed this girl to the back of my mind. In sophomore year I was head Cheerio. I ruled the school and my parents couldn't be happier. At least they were happy._

_Then scandal broke out. I was pregnant. I got kicked out of my home. I got kicked off the Cheerios. I lost my boyfriend to the girl I loved. My dad hated me and left my mother. I gave up my baby. So what did I do? I came up with more nicknames. I ordered more slushies._

Santana was moving around the kitchen as Brittany was playing music from her laptop from the kitchen bar. "So any interesting news from Facebook about any of the Lima losers?" Santana asked Brittany as she was flipping the pancakes.

"Nope. It looks like Mercedes is doing a string of small venue concerts on the west coast though."

"That's cool. Is Trouty Mouth still with her?"

"According to Facebook, yes. And it's no longer complicated."

_I'm not mad about giving up my baby. I made the right decision for Beth. I wanted the best for her. And I couldn't provide the best for her. Because of Beth I graduated William McKinley High School as the valedictorian. I was accepted at Yale early decision on scholarship and graduated Magna Cum Laude. I interned at the New York Times, and was offered a full time job after graduation. While Beth may have been my motivation, Rachel was the reason my motivation never failed. Yes at times it wavered, but never did it fail._

"Here you go B. Three chocolate chip pancakes." Santana said as she laid the plate in next to her girlfriend's laptop. A few moments later she returned with her own plate and her cup of coffee. "Everything alright Britt? You haven't touched your pancakes." Santana turned and noticed her girlfriends face. Brittany only had that face when she was concerned or concentrating. "What's wrong?"

"I have to go call Rachel." Brittany got up and ran to their room to get her phone. Santana slid the laptop in front of her and started to read. The internet was opened up to Quinn's personal blog. So she started to read.

_Junior year I was still bitter. I was using boys, because I thought that they would magically fix everything, but of course they didn't. Most of the time they just ended up making things worse- even if it was my own damn fault. One of the assignments that we had to do was about our flaws. Finn had broken Rachel's nose, and the glee club learned that Rachel wanted a nose job. She wanted her nose to look like mine. For years I struggled with my body image. I went to drastic measures get the body that I have today. I remember the names that others had called me. I remember how it felt- to be broken down to the point where you actually believe what they say. I never intended to make anyone else ever feel that way about themselves. . Especially not her. I can apologize a thousand times over, but I will never forgive myself for what I did._

Brittany walked back into the kitchen and was frantically dialing Rachel, trying to get hold of her. "Come on Rachel, pick up the phone." Panic was washing over Brittany.

"B, didn't Rachel say that she had some audition today?" Santana asked Brittany, rubbing her head as she tried to stay calm.

"I think, but I'm not positive."

"Okay, keep trying to get hold of Rachel, and I'll call Kurt. He'll know the information."

_Somewhere along the line, Finn and Rachel broke up and we got back together. The night of prom, Finn gave me a white gardenia corsage with a green ribbon. He said that it 'matched my eyes' but I knew that it wasn't really from him. It was from Rachel. I was about to walk around the corner of the hall, when I heard the two of them talking by her locker. I wanted to know what was going on, so I stayed put until they finished. We campaigned for prom king and queen. My mother couldn't be happier. But I lost. I didn't lose to some other Cheerio. I lost to a write-in nominee. I lost to a boy. The only openly gay boy the school- Kurt Hummel. I was angry, upset, and scared. The other students had gone out of their way to make Kurt's life at school a living hell- I couldn't imagine what they would do to me if they found out._

_That year we made it to Nationals. We didn't place. Finn had broken up with me and was fighting for Rachel. He won again. Then I lost it. Again._

"I'm in the middle of a design meeting, this better be important Santana." Kurt huffed out, obviously annoyed.

"I'm worried about Quinn. I don't know if you read her personal blog or not, but the post that she made today is rather concerning and we need to get hold of Rachel. Britt's been trying to get hold of her, but we can't."

"That would be because she's at an audition. She wouldn't tell me the exact location of it, because it was by invitation only."

"Kurt, I'm scared . We all know that Quinn has had more than her fair share of problems, but I thought that she had dealt with them. I'm afraid of what she may do."

"Shhh, we're gonna do our best." Kurt was trying his best to comfort the brunette over the phone. "Here's what I need you and Brit to do, alright."

_Senior year rolled around, and I decided to send a message to everyone, that message simply being "Fuck You". I chopped off my hair and dyed it pink. I got a nose ring and completely redid my wardrobe. San and Brit tried talking to me. I ignored them. Rachel talked to me. I at least listened to what she had to say. It wasn't until I had the possibility of bringing Beth back into my life, where I turned everything around. Once again, Beth was my motivation, but Rachel was the reason my motivation never failed. I applied to Yale. I got in and Rachel was marrying Finn. We made it to Nationals and everyone was together and happy. Then the accident happened._

**A/N: I was originally going to only make it one chapter, but it ended up being much longer than planned. So I broke it up as best I could. Please keep in mind that it is one continuous story. The rest will be posted soon.  
I'm not the best with grammer, so if you are interested in being a Beta (I think this is the right thing) just let me know.  
Thank you!**


	2. Coffee and Tequila

**A/N: To answer one of your questions, Brit came across the blog post just doing routine internet browsing. It's Quinn's personal blog as in it is non-work related. Hope that clears up that confusion. Think of it as a Tumblr or Blogspot linked to her facebook. **

*****Don't own the characters*****

**_{Chapter 2}_**

"I need you to send me the link to the blog post. I would like to read it over, so I can get a better grasp on the severity of the situation. Then call Shelby and see if Quinn maybe stopped over to visit Beth. It's near her birthday; you know how difficult that is on Quinn." Kurt paused allowing Santana to wrap her mind around the tasks he had just given her.

"We can do that."

"Then try to brainstorm a list of places that she may have gone that we can search. Give me thirty minutes. I have to go now though. Just buzz me in when I get there."

So they all live in New York? Maybe want to point this out in the first chapter.

_I was texting and driving and ran a stop sign. I was crushed by an oncoming pickup truck. I was paralyzed from the waist down. I was on my way to Rachel's wedding to Finn and was running late. I was answering her text message letting her now that I was one my way. Several weeks passed and my physical therapy was going well, I was on the verge of being able to walk again. I decided to run for prom queen again and Finn was running with me for prom king. He was doing this because he felt guilty about the accident. He was oblivious to the pain that he was causing Rachel by doing this. Some of the glee club members boycotted prom, but eventually everybody showed up for it. I got in a fight with Finn; he walked into the women's restroom to find me and caught me standing up on my own. He essentially bitched me out about sympathy votes and for thinking about no one but myself. He called me out on my behavior towards Rachel and how much I had hurt her. I always wondered what I saw in him. I still don't really know._

_On my way out, Rachel found me to apologize about how she reacted upon learning about the prom campaign. She asked me if I realized how much I meant to her. How I wish I had asked her that in return. She admitted we were friends. She saw everything in me that nobody else did, she saw me as I was. Not how I was expected to be or wanted to be. But as myself._

Kurt swiftly walked the door as it was pulled open for him, "Good afternoon Sir."

"Thank you." He replied back as he made a beeline to the elevators. After a few minutes, the elevator doors opened and Kurt stepped in pushing the button for the seventeenth floor. Between Santana's trust fund, Quinn's journalism job, and Brittany's various dance jobs it was no wonder that the three of them could afford to live in the upper east side. Kurt's apartment was nice, but nowhere near as grand as this. Kurt got off the elevator and turned left until he came to apartment 1703B. He lifted the knocker and then let it fall. Before he could even pull his hand back, the door was open and Brittany had Kurt in one of her famous bear hugs.

"Do you want me to spill the coffee?" Kurt was shrieking, failing horribly at trying to maintain his composure.

"No, I'm just so happy to see you. You're always so busy with gowns and events, I feel like I haven't seen you in months."

"I know, work gets busy." Kurt rested his hand on Brittany's shoulder "But we have some work to do. And I brought some supplies." Kurt raised a small brown bag and winked walking into the apartment.

Kurt handed Brittany his jacket and then walked into the kitchen. He placed the tray with their coffees on the counter and handed Brittany hers. "Where's Santana?"

Taking a sip of her coffee she replied, "She's in the shower. She should be out in a few, the water isn't running anymore."

_I ended up winning prom queen, but I didn't feel any different. It was everything that I had ever wanted, well, my mom wanted. So Santana and I did what cheerios do best and fixed the results. For the second year in a row a write-in nominee won. Rachel won prom queen._

_Santana and I did a duet of "Take My Breathe Away" for the first dance of the king and queen. Rachel had never looked so beautiful, she truly did look like a queen. I shocked the school by standing up during the song and Santana was right there next to me to help me. In that moment though, I only had eyes for Rachel. I wasn't singing to her, I was singing for her._

After college Rachel, Blaine Brittany, Quinn, Santana, and Kurt had all ended up in the city together. They shared homes and knew how everybody took their coffee. Although they loved the big city, this was their way of bringing just a little bit of Lima with them. Moving about the kitchen as if it were his own, Kurt went to the cupboard and pulled out three shot glasses. He set them on the counter and from the bag he pulled out a bottle of Patron.

"You know maybe we should call you over more often if this is going to be your gift Hummel." Santana walked into the kitchen and grabbed the bottle from Kurt smiling.

"I vaguely remember Tequila being a favorite of the Unholy Trinity. Besides I thought that one shot wouldn't hurt."

_Nationals came and by that time, I was walking and dancing fully on my own accord. This time we won and there wasn't a better way to end senior year. Graduation came and passed and we were all ready to head our separate ways. Finn had called us all the train station to wave goodbye to Rachel as she headed to NYC to look at NYADA. What we didn't know is that moments before, he had called off the engagement because he didn't want to hold her back. He had joined the army and was headed off for basic training in a week. I wanted to hurt Finn for hurting Rachel the way that he just had. Of course I was slightly happy, because it meant that maybe, just maybe I had a chance with her. By the time Rachel had gotten back from her trip to NYC, Finn was already gone._

"Time to get down to business." Kurt said snatching the bottle away from Santana, who looked as if she was about to down the entire thing. "We'll save some for later when Quinn comes home."

"What if she doesn't?" Santana asked no longer able to mask the doubt and worry in her voice. Tears started to fall from her eyes, and Brittany calmed Santana down the way that only she could.

"Q always comes homes. No matter how far her fall is, she always gets back." Kurt just looked at her in awe, wondering where her words of wisdom came from. Although Brittany was not the smartest member of New Directions, she always managed to say just the right thing- in her own quirky way.

"Look, Santana- Brittany's right. Quinn always manages to find her way back home. For all we know we could be over reacting, to what may just be Quinn's attempt to let her wall's down. To let us in a bit more." Kurt reached over and gently placed his hand on Santana's knee and continued, "I already called Blaine and left him a message to come over here after work. He's gonna make sure that dinner is taken care of. Rachel is still in her audition, but it lets out at 3 o'clock. She sent me a text and said she'll come over right af-"

"Why is she waiting? Does she even know why we need her?" Santana snapped.

"No. She doesn't. Rachel is at one of the biggest auditions of her career, and as far we know Quinn is fine. Rachel will be here. What about Shelby, did you call her?"

"Yeah. Quinn isn't there. She stopped by earlier this week. She picked Beth up from school."

Kurt look around the apartment trying to think of places Quinn might have gone. "I'm gonna reread the post." He took out his laptop and pulled up Quinn's blog.

"You know I really don't think that we have anything to worry about. She wrote that this isn't a suicide note. She hasn't been acting strange anything lately."

"So what do we do now?" Santana asked, laying her head on Brittany's lap.

Shrugging his shoulders, Kurt answered simply, "We wait."

"Are you guys hungry?" Brittany asked pulling the other two out of their thoughts. "It's almost 2 o'clock already and it's not good for unicorns to miss a meal. Otherwise their rainbow manes lose their shine."

_I was there for her when she got back. We truly did become friends after that. Yes it was painful to be the shoulder that she cried on over Finn, but I was there to take care of her. We spent afternoons in the park going on picnics. I got Rachel to myself until we had to head our separate ways for School. Before she left I got her a train pass so that she could visit me at Yale. I promised to visit her at NYADA. We kept that promise._

_During my years at college, I slowly started to accept my sexuality. I had a few girlfriends, but it was never anything serious. It was more so a distraction, because I still couldn't get over Rachel. I kept my sexuality at school though. Only a few people from back home had learned about it, and they were all from glee club so they knew better than to let it get to my parents._

"So Kurt, tell us." Santana swished back another shot of tequila and slammed the glass on the counter, "How is married life treating you?"

Kurt's face reddened, but Santana couldn't tell if it was from the alcohol or if he was trying to hide something. "It's, uhh fantastic." Kurt smiled and looked down at his feet. Brittany slid across the floor and wrapped her arms around him.

"Don't worry, Blaine is going to be a terrific daddy, and you are going to be a fantastic father."

"B, are you trying to tell me that Blaine and Kurt are having a kid?"

"Yeah."

Santana's mouth dropped with how casually Brittany was handling this assumption. Although, she wouldn't be shocked if it were true. Brittany had always exhibited some strange sixth sense were she just knew things. "Is it true?"

Kurt took a sip of his drink before answering. "Yes. We wanted to wait until we had been approved for continuing with the adoption process."

"You're adopting?"

"That's the plan. We were going to tell you guys at dinner this weekend."

"Kurt, wow- congratulations."

"Thank you. You know, Brittany will make a fantastic mother when you two finally decide to start your own family." Santana offered him a smile, and Kurt's phone began to ring.

_Have you ever loved somebody so much that you just want to lock yourself in your room and cry? More times than I would like to admit. Have you ever loved somebody with every fiber in your being, that you want nothing more than their happiness even if it means taking yourself out of their picture? So much so, that I've lied about my true feelings to keep that smile on her face. Have you ever loved somebody so much, that loving them is killing you? I have. I still do and I just don't know how much longer I can stand it._

**_In case you can't tell I am a huge fan of Kurt and the Unholy Trinity. I personally think that they would have the most epic of friendships.  
The dialogue in this chapter ended up taking a different course than I originally planned. I was on a bus from DC to NYC and then that happened. I also wanted there to be a little bit of fluff in here somehow. It will all come together better in the end (I hope). Have no fear!_**


	3. Gays and Grace

**{Chapter 3}**

**Sorry about the delayed update. Various reasons- school, life, laptop issues. ***The ****_Italics _****are in this chapter and the following are Quinn's current thoughts. The blog post ended in the previous chapter.*****

"Hello?"

"Kurt! The Audition went fantastic. The music left the listeners yearning for something a bit more emotional, but regardless-"

"Rachel, I need you to come over to Quinn's place as soon as you can."

"Is everything alright?"

Kurt took a deep even breath, "Yeah. Everybody's over here already. Blaine is on his way- he took off early today."

Kurt listened as Rachel called out for a taxi and gave the driver the address for her apartment. "Sounds good. I'll be over in about an hour. Are you sure everything is alright?"

"Just a lot to talk about with everyone. See you soon Rach."

"See ya." Rachel replied ending the call. She rested her head on the window and gazed upon the skyline as her taxi crawled through the city that still left her in awe after all these years.

_I've always wanted to just wander through the city aimlessly. I guess I should have at least left a note saying that I was going out. I just needed to get out though. I wonder how Rachel will react to my most recent blog post. Hell, I'd pay to see the reaction of those still stuck in Lima. _

"Hey Rachel." Brittany stepped aside to let Rachel into the apartment, "Come on in. We're still waiting on Blaine."

Rachel entered the familiar apartment and hung her jacket up. "Thanks Brit. Where's Quinn?"

"What?" Brittany asked, shifting her weight from left to right, back and forth.

"I'm assuming she's out. Quinn always hangs her jacket on the third hook from the left- and it's not there."

"Oh yeah. She went out earlier today."

"Do you know when she'll be back? I haven't seen her in over a week. I was hoping to catch up with her."

"She should be back later tonight." With that Brittany turned and walked towards the kitchen. Rachel had taken all of four steps down the hall when there was another knock at the door.

Rachel peered through the peep hole and saw that it was Blaine. "Hey Blaine, come on in."

Blaine pulled Rachel into a hug, "It's been too long."

"It's been less than three days since I have last seen you." Rachel laughed, gently breaking their embrace.

"So do you have any idea where she may be?"

"What are you talking about?" Rachel glanced at Blaine.

"I'm sorry, I thought you knew."

"Knew what?" Rachel was trying to stay calm, but her voice was steadily rising, "Will somebody please tell me what is going on."

_Maybe she'll come and find me by herself. That would be wonderful. I doubt it though. She'll read my post and cry. She'll worry that she wasn't a good friend and be upset that she didn't realize. Maybe she'll be a little angry at me for not telling her. Yeah, that sounds like the Rachel that I know and love. _

"Rachel, We can't- we can't find Quinn."

"I don't understand."

"Rachel, please sit down. We'll explain everything." And then she fainted.

_Maybe she'll sing for me._

"Always the one for dramatics." Kurt sighed out dabbing a cool compress on Rachel's head.

"What happened?" Rachel asked, sitting herself upright on the couch. "How'd I get on the couch?"

"I carried you over after you fainted." Blaine

"Can somebody please just tell me what is going on?"

Santana smirked, "Apparently Quinn's dissent from grace involved a hell of a lot more than banging Puckerman."

"What are you talking about Santana."

"She loves you." Brittany sated nonchalantly.

"I- she what?"

"Look I don't understand it either, but apparently for whatever reason Quinn fell for you."

"Kurt?" Rachel turned to Kurt, searching for an answer.

Kurt sighed before answering, "This morning Quinn posted to her blog. However, it was an extremely personal post."

"And? I mean that is part of her job."

"Yes, but the thing is, we haven't been able to contact her at all today."

Blaine continued, "Just her post was a little concerning."

"Can I please read this post which you are talking about?" Brittany got up and grabbed her laptop from the kitchen counter and brought it back to Rachel. She brought the computer whirring to life and scrolled through pages upon pages of Quinn's blog.

_And only me._

"It's not a suicide note." Rachel looked up at the others.

Kurt exchanged a look with Blaine and Santana, "Are you certain?"

"With out a doubt. The style is her normal writing.

* * *

**I know that this isn't as long as the previous chapter, but just wanted to let you guys know that they story has not been abandoned. Hopefully I will have another update for you guys with in the next two weeks.**


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